A LEGACY OF LETTERS

During creative writing classes at JSL, residents choose any number of real-life topics to base their stories upon. Often subjects are explored again and again. In my continuing efforts to be a cheerleader for estate planning, I think back to 1971 and picture my father, sitting at his treasured oak desk with its intricate carvings and polished surface. It had seen decades of family life – bills, correspondence, love letters, and now, a will.

Lloyd was no stranger to the weight of responsibility that came with planning for the future, but on this day, he faced a new task: updating his will and writing personal letters to my older brother Richard and me. At that time, Richard was attending the University of Michigan and I had just graduated from West Bloomfield High School.

The gentle sounds of violin music surrounded Lloyd with peace and tranquility. When he wasn’t listening to the news, he often chose classical music and enjoyed his favorite performer Itzhak Perlman, whose music filled the room – Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D major, Op 35. As he looked at the framed photos of our family on the walls, my father must have felt the passage of time. I’m sure he wanted to ensure that his Will reflect not just his material wishes, but also his heartfelt hopes for his children when he wrote the following letter on his personal stationary: 

“Dear Richard and Jo Ann,

As I am writing this, I am reminded of all the moments that have brought us to this point—both the joyous and the challenging. Life is a journey, and though it may seem like I am merely planning for when I am no longer here, this document is as much about my love for you both as it is about legalities.

First, let me assure you that I have done my best to manage our family’s affairs prudently. But beyond the assets, there is something more important I want to convey. You see, the true value of life is not found in material things but in the love and memories we share. Your mother and I have always tried to instill in you a sense of discipline, compassion, resilience, and curiosity. These are the gifts that I hope you will carry with you, no matter where life takes you.

Richard, keep exploring life, and don’t be afraid to take risks. Life is full of surprises and every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. Approach each day with the same enthusiasm and openness to learning that have always defined you.

Jo, I have always admired your creativity. Follow your passion, and never doubt your worth. The world is a canvas, and you have the power to paint it with your own colors. In whatever path you take, I know you will land on your feet and make the best of everything that comes to you. I want you both to remember that no matter where you are, you are never alone. The love we have shared is eternal, and it will guide you through the times when you need it most.

Lastly, let me say this: Be there for each other. Support one another as you have always done. Family is the bedrock of everything worthwhile in life, and it is the most precious gift I can leave behind.  

With all my love,

Your Fadda”

Dad would then crisply fold the letter with care and place it in a special envelope set aside for this purpose. I know he felt a sense of calm and completion as he finished this task. That was one of many letters my father left for us, before he passed away in October of 2016 at the ripe old age of 99. His estate papers were in order and updated often with little notes in the margins.

I’m sharing this personal history that has meant so much to me, to remind you that each of us can leave a loving legacy. Write to your loved ones and tell them what they mean to you and put your letters with your estate papers. To have and hold these ‘last words’ from our father is a blessing and one we will cherish always.

Shabbat Shalom.