THE END

The older we get, we must face a variety of unavoidable pokes and prods during visits to doctors to stay healthy, live long and prosper.   Some folks have a serious aversion to medical procedures and put off meeting with their physicians out of fear. Buck up. We must face our fears and just do it if we seek a long life and opportunities to live in good health.

For those who have not yet experienced the wonder of colonoscopy, it’s somewhat of a rite of passage for most adults.  I used to work on behalf of The American Cancer Society who highly suggests beginning with at-home tests you can send to your physician to test for cancer. If you are healthy, ten years later, you undergo your first colonoscopy.  Many people with early-stage colon cancer have no symptoms or family history and are diagnosed through screening. As we age, colonoscopies are strongly recommended.

The uninitiated often postpone this life saving procedure.  I would describe it as a mild inconvenience while others fear a near-demonic ritual involving an army of cameras in a room full of masked medical professionals and some mildly uncomfortable prep. We must face the challenge. Call your doctor, make an appointment and take care of yourself. Insurance covers these procedures. Just ask our residents who have taken such good care of themselves, they continue to thrive at JSL.

You will need to conquer the pre-colonoscopy diet instructions: A light breakfast of 4 Dulcolax tablets, with all the clear liquids you love – cold, warm, hot water, coffee, tea, chicken or veggie broth, lemon, lime or orange Jello, tea, ginger ale, popsicles, Gatorade, apple juice, white grape juice, lemonade. The choices are yours.

Four hours later, shake up a bottle of MiraLAX mixed with 64 ounces of Gatorade, a tasty concoction that really moves you. It’s like drinking a lemon-flavored tidal wave. Served over ice in a wine glass, it’s no big deal. Once you’re all finished, it’s a lovely feeling to be at least 5 pounds thinner and clean as a whistle, You can even suck on a piece of hard candy while your significant other enjoys dinner.

The next morning, on the big day, you’re driven to the clinic, arriving an hour early, and greeted by a nurse who is far too cheerful for the occasion. She hands you a stylish gown, with a drafty back—an intentional design choice to ensure you feel as exposed as possible.

After a friendly chat with your docs and nurses who hook you up to monitors and an IV, you’re rolled into the procedure room, where the team greets you with warm smiles and calming chatter. Everyone seems to really enjoy their jobs… The procedure itself is explained in detail—though it sounds more like a tour of a theme park on a ride with lots of twists and turns. Their goal is to explore the vast expanse of your colon, with the precision of a surgeon and the curiosity of a cat chasing a laser pointer.

As the sedation kicks in, any last thoughts before drifting off are about the strange juxtaposition of being both the star and the spectator of this adventure. Count back from 100 and you enjoy the best nap of your life –and suddenly – it’s over and you find yourself on the gurney in your little room with the curtains for privacy. Hopefully without drama or trauma and good mazel, the gastroenterologist visits you shortly with a smile and a thumbs-up, delivering the news that all is well and there were no unexpected plot twists, dead ends or detours in the colonic journey. – I hope you find it’s this way for you too. Oh, and enjoy some apple juice to break your fast!

Knowledge is power. If you know more, you do more. It’s the kickstart to a healthier diet and a reminder to continue to take excellent care of yourself, eat fiber rich foods, exercise and live your life. It’s an opportunity to laugh about the awkwardness of it all, and smile and maybe joke about it when it’s all over. If there are any concerns, you deal with them. Any polyps, hemorrhoids  or other surprises are dealt with during the procedure –

So, remember, folks: while a colonoscopy might seem like an intimidating rite of passage (no pun intended), it’s just a prudent way to keep an eye on your health. And if you approach it with a bit of humor, you might just find it’s not the ordeal you were expecting. Today, we’re fortunate these cutting-edge procedures can save our lives and those of our loved ones, proving that the end justifies the means. 😊

Shabbat Shalom.