At Jewish Senior Life, we are blessed to witness daily moments of joy, connection, and purpose in the lives of our residents. In Independent Living, Assisted Living, and Memory Care, staff and volunteers sometimes work alongside hospice professionals to ensure every resident feels seen, supported, and valued.
Yet, even during this care and community, serious illness touches many of us. It’s here that the real impact of palliative care becomes clear. Palliative is specialized medical care for individuals with serious illnesses, focusing on relieving symptoms, pain, and stress to improve the quality of life for patients and their families. It’s about living fully, not just surviving. That’s exactly what I thought about when I attended a session by Steven Pantilat, MD at a recent San Francisco Association of Jewish Aging Services (AJAS) Conference. His session titled: “Live to 100 Like 20: Live As Well as Possible for As Long As Possible with Serious Illness.”
Dr. Pantilat is the Kates-Burnard and Hellman Distinguished Professor of Palliative Care and Chief of the Division of Palliative Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco. He is widely recognized as one of the leading voices in palliative care in the country. Over the course of his career, he has received countless honors, including the Visionary in Palliative Care Award and the Excellence in Education and Training Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. He is also a James Irvine Foundation Leadership Award recipient and a Fulbright Scholar, studying palliative care internationally. Under his leadership, the UCSF Palliative Care Program received the Circle of Life Award from the American Hospital Association. He has authored more than a hundred academic papers and the widely respected book “Life After the Diagnosis: Expert Advice on Living Well with Serious Illness for Patients and Caregivers.” His work has even reached broader audiences through the Academy Award–nominated Netflix documentary End Game, which captures the compassionate care he brings to patients and families.
I ordered his book and began to read it. What struck me most was the humanity he brings to medicine. He delivered his speech while wearing a mask to continue to protect his patients.
Dr. Pantilat challenged the belief which many of us carry without even realizing that we must choose between living longer and living better. His message is simple but profound: we can have both.
He explained that patients receiving palliative care often experience better quality of life, improved mood, less pain, and less discomfort and shortness of breath. They are less likely to undergo invasive interventions at the end of life, and they report greater satisfaction with their care. Families and caregivers benefit too, with less stress and better overall well-being. And most surprisingly, patients receiving palliative care often live longer than those who do not receive this type of care.
This idea changes everything. It shifts palliative care from something people fear into something that enhances living.
But what truly defines Dr. Pantilat’s approach is how he communicates. He encourages patients to speak openly about what matters most by asking simple but powerful questions, such as:
“When you think about the future, what do you hope for?”
“What worries you most?”
These are not just clinical questions; they are human questions. They invite honesty, vulnerability, and connection in a way that typical diagnostic questions, medical charts and treatment plans often cannot. Families can talk openly with their loved ones about what their wishes are.
And when there are no easy answers, his comforting words remain grounded in truth and compassion:
“I wish we could make your cancer go away.”
There is something deeply human in that statement. It acknowledges reality without abandoning empathy. It reminds patients that even when medicine can’t cure, it can still care.
Dr. Pantilat spoke about worry and how much of our suffering comes not just from illness itself, but from fear of what lies ahead. He made an important distinction: while we often think the goal is to prepare for a good death, the real goal is to live a good life.
This perspective changes everything. Palliative care, as he describes it, is not about giving up. It’s about aligning treatment with what matters most to each individual whether it’s time with family, relief from pain, clarity of mind, or simply dignity. It’s about intention, compassion, and community.
Listening to him, I realized that integrating palliative care earlier in serious illness doesn’t diminish hope, it refines it. It allows patients and families to focus on what is meaningful, even in the face of uncertainty.
In a healthcare system that often prioritizes intervention over intention, Dr. Pantilat’s message feels both timely and timeless. His work, grounded in both modern medicine and deeply held Jewish values, reminds us that care is not just about extending life, but about enriching it.
As I left his session, I reflected on a simple but profound truth: when we shift the goal from merely surviving to living as fully as possible, everything changes.
May we and our loved ones be blessed with health, peace, and the courage to live each day fully, finding joy and meaning in every moment.
Wishing everyone a Zissen Pesach!
Shabbat Shalom