A LOVE WELL LIVED AND LESSONS LEARNED

Sally and Saul had a marriage filled with laughter and a partnership honed on countless adventures. They’d built a beautiful life over the course of sixty years, raising three children, building rewarding careers, and savoring every moment of a life well-lived. But perhaps one of the most special aspects of their marriage was the way they divided their household responsibilities—a seamless balance that became second nature.

Sally, ever the organized one, handled all the finances, from paying bills to keeping the family’s paperwork meticulously filed. She enjoyed folding their laundry, dusting their precious antiques, and taking enormous pride in maintaining their art-filled home.  Saul, with his flare for skillfully combining flavors in the kitchen, took care of most of the shopping and cooking. He was also the master gardener, spending hours in the backyard cultivating flowers and vegetables. Sally and Saul had an unspoken understanding that worked for them. Each trusted the other completely to handle their share of tasks, which let them focus on what they loved doing the most.

But when Saul passed away suddenly, Sally found herself facing an unexpected challenge. Despite her strength and resilience, she faced tasks that had always been “Saul’s domain.” She struggled with the high-tech gas stove; she was unsure of how to turn on the burner without that familiar little squeak Saul had long since mastered. The timers Saul had set to go off and on didn’t reset themselves after a recent power outage. The garden, which had once been an oasis of color and bloom, now seemed a world of unwelcome plants and stubborn weeds.

Most overwhelming of all were the household finances. She was used to paying the bills, but she was confronted by a stack of new bills and documents with account numbers, passwords, and due dates she’d never seen before. She was forced to navigate unfamiliar territory that left her feeling isolated.

This experience became a powerful lesson. As she wrestled with her grief, Sally realized that they had overlooked something essential. By specializing so rigidly in their tasks, she and Saul had inadvertently left each other vulnerable to just this kind of situation. Their division of labor, though once a strength, had become a challenge now that Sally was alone.

This story serves as a gentle reminder about the importance of sharing not just responsibilities, but also knowledge. It’s a call to partners, young and old, to learn each other’s roles, even those that feel routine or uninteresting. While it may seem easier to stick to what one enjoys and is good at, this approach can leave loved ones in a vulnerable position.

After speaking with her friends and family, Sally made the decision to move to JSL to ease the burden of home ownership and begin her second chapter at Meer Apartments. She often shares her story with others, encouraging couples to consider life from every angle, even those moments that feel far off. In her words, “It’s not about preparing for the worst, but about building the strength to face any challenge together.” The love she shared with Saul was the foundation of their well-lived lives. But the lessons they could have shared earlier would have helped Sally not only cherish the memories but also face the future with more confidence.

Sally holds onto Saul’s memory and the wisdom left with her by their journey together. She speaks often to her friends suggesting they take time to learn and understand each other’s roles and skills to provide lasting peace of mind to face whatever comes with resilience and preparedness. And now she’s enjoying a new life without the responsibilities of a house and garden.

When you’re ready to begin your new chapter, come live at JSL. http://www.jslmi.org

Shabbat Shalom.