THE SUN WILL COME OUT
After a conversation with a dear friend who admitted to struggling with the feeling that her capacity for joy has been diminished, I knew that I wanted to write about this reality that is affecting many of us. In the midst of worry, angst, and change, our hearts beat with fear. Deep concern is fueling anger about rising antisemitism, climate change, political leadership, nuclear weapons, and other unknowns that will surely affect our future.
The American public, as diverse and sprawling as our land itself, is no stranger to change. From the personal heartbreaks of loss and missed opportunities to the collective weight of economic downturns, social unrest, and unmet needs, it can often feel like we’re living in a Salvadore Dali painting… The shadow is draped across the horizon as the clocks melt on dead tree branches. Yet, within our struggles, there exists an unwavering thread: our innate capacity for joy.
Some say joy is a renewable resource within us. That joy doesn’t negate pain, it coexists with it. The trick is learning to nurture joy, even in the face of disappointment, by finding small, meaningful moments that anchor us to the present…. Nuzzling our beautiful children and grandchildren, hosting our family for dinners, listening to music, reading poetry aloud, spending time with beloved friends…
Therapists often suggest looking to gratitude as a tool for fostering joy during hard times. My late sister-in-law Brenda Strausz, a therapist, would always suggest journaling about gratitude. A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who practice daily gratitude experience higher levels of emotional resilience. From the Journal, “Gratitude rewires our brains and trains us to notice the positive, even when things feel overwhelmingly negative.”
Consider when we all had to cancel parts of our lives during the pandemic. Disappointment arrived for some as a canceled vacation or wedding and instead of giving into deep dark depression, many decided to turn would-be wedding days into “Days of Joy” with close family and friends coming together on Zoom. Some brides admitted It wasn’t the day they planned, but it reminded them that love, and connection are what matter most.
I repeat…. Love and Connection are what matter most.
Therapists often help us find ways to change our attitudes.
- Reframe the Narrative: Look at disappointment as a detour rather than a dead end. We can ask, “What can we learn from this experience?”
- Find Micro-Moments of Joy: Savor simple pleasures—a good book, a sunset, or a conversation with a friend.
- Connect with Others: Shared experiences, even difficult ones, can foster a sense of belonging and support.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledge our feelings without judgment. It’s okay to grieve what was lost while remaining open to future joy.
I am continually inspired by the older adults at JSL. Their decision to embrace life fully despite rolling in wheelchairs and often enduring pain, reveals incredible courage. Many of the JSL residents refuse to let disappointment define them, boldly declaring that they are more than their setbacks. Their joy doesn’t erase their pain; instead, it shows how resilience and happiness can coexist, creating a powerful testament to the human spirit.
Psychological research shows that regularly practicing gratitude rewires our brains to notice positivity more naturally. https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/
We all face clouds and storms, hoping for the sun to break through tomorrow. Resilience was the beacon of strength for Anne Frank and those around her during some of the darkest days in history. It was resilience that carried Holocaust survivors through unimaginable trials, giving them hope in the face of despair. How can we tap into the wellspring of strength and resilience that lies within each of us? Please let us know how you’re holding up out there.
May the One who makes peace in the heavens, bring peace to us all.
Shabbat Shalom.
